Wlecom to China

People in China don't really have a tendency to speak English. On top of that, they launch into I'm sure very eloquent dialogues to me. When I indicate with rudimentary hand signals that I don't understand, they write it down, which is, in some way, less helpful. Its been four days now and I'm beginning to fear I may never meet another English speaker again. Ever. China's a huge friggin country, so the typical tourist trail is all but non-existent. I suppose it doesn't help that i gravitate to backwater villages. In China, however, backwater villages are of a different caliber than those found in SE Asia. There, animals outnumber humans. In China, the population of a "small city" is in the tens of thousands, and yet I am still be woken occasionally by an odd rooster, strangely enough. You can take the Asian out of the village, I guess. I had spent almost four months in SE Asia, and like the shock I received arriving from Nepal, China is taking a bit of getting used to. It's imperative, for example, to learn words that I could get away with in English in other countries, like toilet or bus. I simply receive lost faces here, which means I've been picking up some Mandarin with astounding difficulty. I've abandoned my methods I used successfully to attain comprehension in other countries. Left hand, palm up, I say "English, toilet." Right hand, palm up, I say "Chinese...?" This isn't working here. I think Ill tack this up to the fact that being a world power, like Americans, the Chinese aren't obligated to learn another language, even English. The Chinglish sings I see are a constant source o endless amusement. "Civilized behavior of tourists is another bright scenery rational shopping." Started out alright, didn't it? And the staring, wow. After just five days here, I believe that a stare off between and Indian and a Chinese would be a close tie. The difference here is that if you smile at a Chinese, they beam. The ways they use to get a good look is hilariously transparent. I figured sitting and people-watching a bit away from the main drag in Dali, Yunnan, I would get a respite from the soul-burning stares. Au contraire. Sitting suggests immobility, which forces those intent to gawk to adopt new innovation strategies. One guy tied his shoe for almost five minutes. A couple took turns standing in front of the dilapidated ship i was resting against for a nice little photo-op with the huge white chick.
The travellers whose conversations i have eavesdropped have all lived in China for some time. Most of them speak an admiral amount of Mandarin, which is saying worlds compared to the tourists in SE Asia and South Asia, who usually can't count to three. They intimidate me slightly. China is something to conquer compared to 2 week vacation land on the beaches in Thailand or the ashram (slash pot) junkies in India.
Morning exercises I saw this morning on early arrival in Kunming was, frankly, hilarious. There was public tai chi classes, which I expected from China. Think women in high heels and purse along side old men with wispy beards doing " the Pensive Dragon" or whatever. I saw lots of individuals holding their own private sessions in abandoned parking lots with short red flags. Shop owners patting their thighs, butt and back of the head. Badminton at seven am in the dark is also quite popular. My favorite was the old woman in full track suit gear walking backwards. All sport store ads feature a straight faced ping pong player in mid swing and Tao Ming, China's beloved gift to the NBA. In larger cities, like in Kunming, each corner is manned by a supplement to the crossing signals. A grumpy man or woman sporting berating speeding bicycles and shaking an angry red flag at cars who run red lights. Wlecom to China indeed.

Senor Elephante es gris y grande, pero no soy grande, so guapo y fuerte

When they're happy, i.e. they see a banana-sporting falang, they sway back and forth with surprising grace and wag their floppy ears like a content dog. Our guide brought two garbage bags full of bananas, extra ripe for Dodo the baby, so our first interaction with the elephants was a veritable rush of four multi-ton bristle-haired giants. My sister Megan and I took a full day out to become semi-honorary mahouts, or skilled elephant trainers. While most tourists sit atop a small wooden chair strapped to the elephants back, we straddled Mae Mai and Boon Sri's necks, legs trucked behind their ears. Although elephants can't feel gentle touches on account of their two centimeter thick skin, I found myself patting Mae Mai's head and ears as we trudged along slowly through the countryside outside of Chiang Mai in northern Thailand. We waded in the shallow river water and tried to stay relatively dry and uncrushed while the elephants dunked underwater, rolling, again, like dogs, trunks posed in the air like periscopes.

Announcement board

Issue number one- pictures are posted at flickr.com
Issue number two- my lovely friend Yann pointed out a child in Southern Laos the other day who was wearing a shirt that said "My other ride has tits" and "Inner beauty is overrated"- ON ONE TSHIRT. He seemed eerily nonplussed about the whole thing. He may have been, repeat, may have been eight years old.
Issue number three- I purchased an armband in Louang Prabang, Laos today, so now I am one of those people. I feel very comfortable with this lifestyle change, thanks.

Blinding Flash of Reality

I was riding my bike on the west coast of Don Det, one of many islands in Southern Laos' Si Phan Don (Four Thousand Islands). I stopped my bike to admire my view over the dried rice fields. Old dried coconut husks lie in the square indentations left by the fields. The gulden light cast by the setting sun behind the trees threw jagged slashed of shadow over the hulking grey masses of buffalo. I was soon interrupted by a young boy, who seeing me stopped on my bike, wandered over and asked me for a pen. Ive realized that after several months, the things I take from travels are not always pleasant. I tend to spare people back home about the ugly sides of seeing the world' the public masturbation, sexual gropings, beggars with massively deformed arms and legs, the child prostitution. But I shouldn't try to hide these inconveniences. I want people to believe that travelling is not a utopia. The countries Ive seen are cheap, a euphemism we use to describe poor, and my presence as a white American travelling the world for a year as a luxury is not to be overshadowed by the poverty. Yes, I could give the boy my pen, though naivety has no place in this setting. Then pen to me is small, but our hopes for them to become an instrument of knowledge and learning is frankly, pathetic. The boy will sell the pen and, with the memory of the philanthropic falang fresh in his mind, will return to the streets, perhaps at his parents demands. What these people need is not a piece of candy or a few coins. Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day. Teach a man to fish and he will eat for a lifetime. A traveller should recognize the remarkable gift of travelling, but should try to avoid becoming jaded to the ways of our ever-growing world. I have met every kind of traveller; the dewy-eyed bleeding heart that never negotiates prices and hands nutritionless sweets to starving children; the stubborn bargain-hunter that will not walk away without saving those extra thirty cents; The party seeker that turns a blind eye to the culture they have come to "see"; The non-conformist that ironically wouldn't dare being caught in a "tourist" town.This is not to say that I have not indulged in any of these qualities, but its the power of balance that I have come to seek and respect. See that kid trying to sell bracelets at eleven thirty at night? He should be in bed resting for school tomorrow. I once read that a beggar in Pakistan makes more money every year than a college graduate. I also heard that the hydropower damns set up in rural Nepal meant to aid struggling minorities a provides electricity, which means staying up late watching television, which means snot waking up at dawn to tend the crops, which means cutting down trees to heat a house when they should be warm in bed, which means deforestation and depletion of nature by the erosion caused by the damn. Tread lightly in other countries- our prescience is more of ten that not detrimental to those who we have come to see which we at times, unknowingly equate with a Sunday trip to the zoo. The elephant dressed up and can can ow be fed a banana by you for just a few pennies actually requires pounds and pounds of food to survive. This is a not a particularly pleasant entry,but you and I need to know the realities of the world.