Wlecom to China

People in China don't really have a tendency to speak English. On top of that, they launch into I'm sure very eloquent dialogues to me. When I indicate with rudimentary hand signals that I don't understand, they write it down, which is, in some way, less helpful. Its been four days now and I'm beginning to fear I may never meet another English speaker again. Ever. China's a huge friggin country, so the typical tourist trail is all but non-existent. I suppose it doesn't help that i gravitate to backwater villages. In China, however, backwater villages are of a different caliber than those found in SE Asia. There, animals outnumber humans. In China, the population of a "small city" is in the tens of thousands, and yet I am still be woken occasionally by an odd rooster, strangely enough. You can take the Asian out of the village, I guess. I had spent almost four months in SE Asia, and like the shock I received arriving from Nepal, China is taking a bit of getting used to. It's imperative, for example, to learn words that I could get away with in English in other countries, like toilet or bus. I simply receive lost faces here, which means I've been picking up some Mandarin with astounding difficulty. I've abandoned my methods I used successfully to attain comprehension in other countries. Left hand, palm up, I say "English, toilet." Right hand, palm up, I say "Chinese...?" This isn't working here. I think Ill tack this up to the fact that being a world power, like Americans, the Chinese aren't obligated to learn another language, even English. The Chinglish sings I see are a constant source o endless amusement. "Civilized behavior of tourists is another bright scenery rational shopping." Started out alright, didn't it? And the staring, wow. After just five days here, I believe that a stare off between and Indian and a Chinese would be a close tie. The difference here is that if you smile at a Chinese, they beam. The ways they use to get a good look is hilariously transparent. I figured sitting and people-watching a bit away from the main drag in Dali, Yunnan, I would get a respite from the soul-burning stares. Au contraire. Sitting suggests immobility, which forces those intent to gawk to adopt new innovation strategies. One guy tied his shoe for almost five minutes. A couple took turns standing in front of the dilapidated ship i was resting against for a nice little photo-op with the huge white chick.
The travellers whose conversations i have eavesdropped have all lived in China for some time. Most of them speak an admiral amount of Mandarin, which is saying worlds compared to the tourists in SE Asia and South Asia, who usually can't count to three. They intimidate me slightly. China is something to conquer compared to 2 week vacation land on the beaches in Thailand or the ashram (slash pot) junkies in India.
Morning exercises I saw this morning on early arrival in Kunming was, frankly, hilarious. There was public tai chi classes, which I expected from China. Think women in high heels and purse along side old men with wispy beards doing " the Pensive Dragon" or whatever. I saw lots of individuals holding their own private sessions in abandoned parking lots with short red flags. Shop owners patting their thighs, butt and back of the head. Badminton at seven am in the dark is also quite popular. My favorite was the old woman in full track suit gear walking backwards. All sport store ads feature a straight faced ping pong player in mid swing and Tao Ming, China's beloved gift to the NBA. In larger cities, like in Kunming, each corner is manned by a supplement to the crossing signals. A grumpy man or woman sporting berating speeding bicycles and shaking an angry red flag at cars who run red lights. Wlecom to China indeed.